Why go overseas if not to experience new things? Experience new things I most certainly did!
Last night I went to a water nightclub. whats a water nightclub? thats exactly what I wanted to know. all I knew was that I needed to wear my bathers and my big girls pants because we were going to stay out far later than the regular appointment I have with my bed. just by the by, I have had to employ the use of my big girl pants so frequently that they are practically tattooed on me.*
So Sabry and I rock up at this Aquaworld place and say we are with Stefanos party, which gets us a free drink wristband and a self perceived air of importance. We make our way to the biggest changerooms I have ever seen in my life, this was the wegmans of all changerooms. This place had actual hairdryers, not just those boxes on the walls (which they also had). we used a magnetic bracelet that we were given to open and close our personal lockers and at the end of one of the aisles there was a scanner that you could find the number of your locker in case you forgot it. so we get into our bathing suits, which brings about the first thing that I am slightly uncomfortable about. You see, my body and I have a surprisingly good relationship for me being a 19 year old girl. (woman? Do I get to count as a woman yet? boobs, I think yes), well, as I was saying, We get along. BUT, put my pasty arse next to 100 drop dead gorgeous brown italian women and I start to feel a tad ...luminous. and not in a good way. So I was thinking all of this when Sabry and I were standing under the fluorescent lights of the changeroom in front of the mirror and she said "uffa! I feel so fat wearing just my bathers." now, I would like to point out that she looked like a goddess. So I have decided that every single person in that changeroom saw an ugly them and sexy everybody else. So maybe only I could see my harsh shade of white.
next challenge, actually going out into the public area wearing a bikini.
When we walked out all my worries were removed and promptly replaced by a brand new set which I didnt have time to address.
this place was incredible! imagine a cross between a nightclub, Taylor Vaughn's beach party in she's all that and a Miss Italia swimsuit pageant after party.
there was a DJ on a platform above the main pool and about 100 people waistdeep in water all splashing and dancing and yelling "ooooohhhaaahhooohaahooahoohaoha BARBARA STREISAND!" It was really dim which was great because even though everyone could still see each other it was much easier to pretend I was invisible. Or fully clothed. You see, I dont seek out places of alcohol and dancing very often, and when I do I am always wearing enough clothes for 5 of the girls there. Here, I was in a bikini. but, as luck would have it, I was still the most clothed out of anyone because I was wearing board short as well.
We met up with Sabrinas friends and went upstairs to go and cash in our free drink wristband. Poor me didnt have a clue what to order when it transpired that Italians dont know what a lemon lime and bitters is. So we hung out in the far too brightly lit eating area for awhile drinking our drinks and having more language issues than helen keller.
When we went back and entered to water/dancefloor for a bit of boogying I was again put in a situation I have never been in. Dancing In water, not wearing very much with literally hundred of people I didnt know. Most of whom were hot italian boys. But I will talk about the italian boys later. did you know that I is hard to dance in water? its kind of like slowmotion. I tell you who didnt have trouble dancing, the impossibly beautiful sexily clad women who were being paid to dance on the edge of the pool. I have always been fairly opposed to women dancing sexily for men for reasons that I think are fairly obvious but this was the first time that I had actually been to a place where it happens (other than american high school dances with the right people in attendance). So, I am comfortable in my sexuality and I dont think that women should dance for men like that but all these things in play I couldnt take my eyes off them. They were mesmorising, which i guess means they are doing their job well. When I took a step back it was actually a really amusing scene. There are three girls dancing on the edge of the pool, two security guards either side, posing intimidatingly but with faces that clearly read they were still trying to figure out how they got a job so good. just below the girls dancing was a hoard of italian boys literally drooling and and pawing at their feet. throughout the rest of the pool there were groups of people dancing but every single male was focused on the dancing girls and every single attached female was trying desperately to divert his attention to herself. When the girls went away for break there was a collective groan of disappointment and sigh of relief and the mosh pit of desperation dispersed and everyone went back to dancing with/ eating each other.
so, these italian boys. I know what your thinking, a pool full of hot italian guys, are we going to get a great/niece nephew/ grandchild/baby friend? I hope you werent thinking that actually, im not really like that. you know what was really really sad about these impossibly beautiful italian men? (yep, theyre men now). They are exactly like australian guys. If you put them in a big group together they are far more interested in each other than all the scantily clad women who want their attention. and they all seem to be a bunch of boof-heads. *sigh* oh well, they were cute, even if i suspect they couldnt string a sentence together.
so then next thing to happen! there we are dancing away when an italian guy comes over to shake my hand and introduce himself. when I took his hand as per handshaking rule he took it and kissed it, exclaiming lots of things that I can only imagine in italian. I tried in vain to tell them I hadnt a clue what they were saying and physically imposed the shadow of some personal space. Sabrina took my other hand and pulled me away from them and started dancing with my whilst pissing herself laughing.
later when I was sitting on a louge at the edge trying not to die of exhaustion a guy, and it may or may not have been the same guy but he looked familiar, asked me if I would like to have a drink with him. the girl who I was sitting with, who hadnt said a word to me all night, Just subtly wagged her finger at me indicating that I should say words to the effect of Hell no mister! a few moments of hope for him and language barrier frustions me later and I had successfully told him that I didnt in fact want a drink. Actually thats not entirely true, This girls boyfriend also said something to him. I suspect it was "she doesnt speak italian, but trust me, she doesnt want a drink. please go away."
after all the shananigans were over sabrina and I went back to the changeroom to brave our own self esteem and get changed. as we were leaving the changeroom there was a tonne of girls standing and drying their hair with the provided hairdryer or carefully applying make-up. the scene we were met with when we entered the waiting room outside the changeroom was approxiamtely the same number of guys sitting fully clothed looking bored and hopeful every time a girl exited the changeroom.
so, that was the aquaworld.
Its worth mentioning that this photo was taken when they were kicking everyone out so it is very empty.
*just for the record, Im not entirely sure how my big girl pants are supposed to manifest themselves so the tattooing might not make sense.
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